where do we go from here?

As promised, today’s post will include a more in-depth analysis of Friday night’s date with Mr. Smooth Operator, who was teetering on the brink of elimination in the “Who Wants to Date Krissy Scatton?” sweepstakes.  (I wonder if VH-1 would snap up that concept for a reality show?  They are the network that is about to bring us, this shitshow so who knows?)  But I digress.

Those of you who checked the blog over the weekend know that the date actually (perhaps anticlimactically) went well.  We went for dinner at a cozy little BYOB up in Old City, had some bangin’ Italian food (including my favorite dish in the whole wide world, lobster ravioli), and enjoyed some nice conversation.  Not that the date wasn’t without its awkward moments.  Twice I had to put my foot down and forbid him from using two different tired, cheesy jokes, which he already overused on our first two dates.  And he did voluntarily admit at one point that he has a tendency to try too hard.  This was the point when I slid on my Awkwardness Cloak (similiar to Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak, except an Awkwardness Cloak is red and blinking and tends to make people around you shift nervously in their seats) and kind of nodded, then blathered something about people always being nervous when they meet someone new and want to impress them before hastily and gracelessly changing the subject.  Which I guess makes me a hypocrite for ribbing this guy, since I’m not exactly Slick Rick over here, although I mostly only tend to get awkward in conversation when I’m trying really, really hard to be tactful, because that’s not a normal state of being for me.  It’s like my mouth and my mind get locked in a fight to the death, and I wind up sounding like English is my second language.

At any rate, Friday night was not as bad as it could have been (or frankly, as I was expecting it to be), although I should know by now that  any scenarios that my overly pessimistic mind can dream up are usually 10 times worse than anything that can actually happen (although I don’t like to think of it as pessimistic, I prefer to think of it as prepared.) We don’t have any concrete plans to see each other again this week, but I borrowed one of his CDs to burn, so I feel like there is the understanding that we will see each other again, which is ok with me, but…

But, but, but.  There’s always a but.  The rest of the weekend, as I thought more about Friday night, the more I became certain that I am not interested in anything more than casual dating with this gentleman.  Going out to eat or see a movie or something once a week or so is fine for now, but deep down I’m not feeling the spark that’s telling me to really push for this to go somewhere deeper.  Which of course begs the question, Do I tell him that?

My gut instinct tells me that full disclosure is the way to go – that I should tell him right here and now that I’m not looking for anything more than a casual dating arrangement with him.  However, in my experience, 9 times out of 10, full disclosure is the fastest way for me to end up flat on my face, embarrassed and alone.  This time, part of me really, really, really wants to keep my big trap shut, if only to see if I can, and let the chips fall where they may.  Let him be the one to bring up the “Where is this going?” question for once; I’m tired of it.  My only concern is that leaves me no opportunity to cover my ass – he would be wide open to tell me that I was leading him on.  And, honestly, I would tend to agree with him.  So, as usual, the scenario is something like this: Rock – Krissy – hard place.

Of course, this may all be wild speculation.  For all I know, he could have walked out of his house this morning and tripped over some beautiful, wonderful woman and fallen in love at first sight and forgotten all about me.  Chances are, the things that I worry about today will never come to pass tomorrow.  Maybe for once I should just relax, go with the flow, and look on the bright side – at least I didn’t need that other bottle of wine on Friday.

tongue tied

Ugh.  Hanging out on Broad Street at 12:30 a.m. to celebrate the Phillies’ impending trip to the World Series seemed like a great idea last night…today, not so much.  (I’m not even hungover, just tired.) That, combined with the fact that I bludgeoned a small, cute, defenseless  – but highly annoying  – rodent to death with my Chucks this morning has made it an interesting day thus far.

Date number three with Mr. Smooth Operator is tomorrow night, and I’m trying to be positive about it, if not because I believe this guy is my soulmate, but because he has enough potential to deserve a fighting chance.  In thinking about it, I guess I see this guy as a “project” – you know, one of those guys who needs to be saved, in this case from his habits of trying desperately to impress me and make me his girlfriend.  I can’t help but feel like I want to sit him down and say, “Look buddy, this is what you need to STOP doing, and this is what you need to START doing in order to get a girl.”  Not as a date, or a potential partner, or anything like that,  but as someone with insight into the female brain, which this guy desperately needs (which a lot of men desperately need, come to think of it.)

But – is it my place to do that?  I’ve only been on three dates with the guy; I don’t owe him anything.  Maybe he should figure it out for himself, like the rest of us.  And, when it comes to guys, the last thing I’m looking for right now is a project.  At this point in my life, if I’m going to be seeing a guy, it has to be low-key, low-stress and fun.  I’m taking a break from the fixer-uppers for awhile.  Furthermore, how do you  politely broach a subject like this?

I asked my friend Stefan about it, and he said, if there is a point in our date when he starts trying too hard, I should say, “Stop trying so hard and just be yourself.  You’re a lot more fun that way.”  Sound advice, but it’s easier said than done.  I highly doubt this guy, with his dog-with-a-bone-esque tendencies, will let it go at that.  How do you tell someone that he’s flawed without coming off as judgmental and mean?  I’ll be honest, I am not the most tactful person in the world, and I worry about saying something unintentionally that will end up hurting his feelings.  And how do I know he even wants my advice?  I don’t want to bruise his masculine pride or anything.

Guys, what do you think?  If you were doing something that was hurting your chances of snagging a lady, would you want her to be upfront and honest and tell you about it?  How would you want her to do it?  My date’s tomorrow night, so any information would certainly be helpful!  I think the plan is to go to a BYOB in the city.  Maybe I should bring two bottles of wine…