I remember in one of my elementary school classes (Social Studies, I believe), we used to do a question of the day, when our teacher would ask the class a question related to the topic we were presently studying, or related to current events, and give extra credit to the person who could answer it. I think it’s time to bring back question of the day, related, of course, to the topic at hand – relationships, dating and whatnot.
So today’s Question of the Day is: Why, when a man enters into a new romantic relationship with a woman, does he instantly cease communication with any and all friends of the female persuasion, and maintain lack of communication for the duration of the relationship?
Answer: …I don’t know. I have theories, of course (I always have theories), but truthfully, I have no idea, maybe because I’m a woman, and even when I’m in a relationship, I keep in touch with all my friends, be they male or female. I was thinking about this question because it’s something that came up in two separate conversations with two different friends, who were bewildered, angry, hurt, frustrated, etc. with male friends who made like Houdini and disappeared from their lives as soon as another woman entered the picture.
And for the record, I would call women to the carpet on this as well, but I honestly haven’t noticed this trend in women as much as men. Sure, everyone becomes a little less available when they’re in a relationship, but I can’t think of any woman that I know who cuts ties with male friends as soon as she has a boyfriend. So, you know, if you’re thinking about bitching about that, just stfu.
Anyway, here are my theories:
1. Men can’t multi-task and can only focus on one woman at a time.
2. Their girlfriend’s feel threatened by their boyfriend’s having female friends, and pressure them to cut ties (guys who do this are pussies, but that’s another topic for another blog).
3. Boyfriends THINK they’re girlfriends will be threatened by them having female friends, and cut ties (these men need to give their girlfriends more credit).
4. The boyfriend’s themselves feel threatened by the presence of a female friend, because of past emotional/physical involvement, and so decide that the best course of action is to completely remove the temptation from their path.
So those are my theories. I don’t know if they’re accurate, or total bullshit. If anyone has any insight on this, I’d love to hear it, and I know my friends would too. Class dismissed.
kristenm129
As a man, I am sure I have been guilty of this to some degree. While no one knows the exact reason, I have a few theories of my own.
1) The only reason the man was friends with the woman was to try to date/bed them. If there is no reason beyond that he sees no reason to still be friends with her.
2) The man is truly just friends with the woman, but still feels there is an attraction between them, and knows it could lead to trouble
3) Things the man would normally do with his female friends, he is currently doing with his girlfriend (ie: movies, drinks, dinner, ice skating, etc), and is overloaded with feminine energy. He would rather spend his free time with his buddies or alone.
4) He likely ignores his male friends just as much, however he needs them for activities he wouldn’t normally do with his girlfriend or female friends (ie: sports, video games, strip clubs, heavy drinking, etc.)
I may have just re-worded some of your theories, but I thought I’d put in a male perspective. While your jealousy issue may sound ridiculous, it is often an issue. And as a man, I know sometimes its best to not make waves. . .
Thank you, that was a very well thought-out response, and a lot of what you said makes sense. It’s great to have a guy’s perspective on this. Thanks again!