i do…or do i?

Remember yesterday, when I posted about a new Pew Research Center/Time magazine poll that revealed four in 10 Americans think marriage is going obsolete? Here’s a more in-depth article that was published on Time’s web site: Who Needs Marriage? How an American Institution Is Changing. It’s a pretty interesting read. I’m still having a mixed reaction to these poll results, as far as what is causing these changes in the attitude towards marriage, and how well those changes are reflected by the opinions and actions of my peers.

I think this sentence sums it up best: “What we found is that marriage, whatever its social, spiritual or symbolic appeal, is in purely practical terms just not as necessary as it used to be. Neither men nor women need to be married to have sex or companionship or professional success or respect or even children — yet marriage remains revered and desired.”

Pretty much. As a college-educated woman with a full-time job and higher career aspirations, I know that I could support myself financially well into the future, barring any unforeseen disasters. In today’s social order, there would be nothing amiss or wrong with me being a single woman for the rest of my life. But personally, romantically, emotionally speaking, do I want to be married someday? Hells yeah.

Perhaps because it is as Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins University and author of The Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today, says in the Time article: ”Getting married is a way to show family and friends that you have a successful personal life.  It’s like the ultimate merit badge.”

Especially if you, like me and many of my friends, grew up in a small town environment where old-fashioned values prevail. Where I come from, marriage is just something you do sooner or later. It’s a rite of passage, a symbolic gesture that says “Look how well I’ve got my shit together.” Of course, most of us know that being married doesn’t necessarily mean you have your shit together, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t going to give it the old college try, to prove everyone wrong. After all, doesn’t each generation love to think they know more than the previous one?

I’d love to know what you all think of this, especially since I know many people who are already married/engaged, others who are co-habitating, and others who just don’t give a shit.

Or, if this is all too heavy for 4:30 on a Friday afternoon, here’s an alternative – a cat’s butt that looks like an elephant! Enjoy